My Family is Bigger than Your Family!

Okay. I realize I'm probably going to offend some people with this blog but keep in mind I'm making blanket generalizations here based on my personal observations as a single father of one wonderful child.

Last year, while driving around in by old haunt of Bakersfield, CA, I noticed a new 'infestation' that seemed to effect one out of every three or four SUVs or Soccer-mom vans in town. They seemed to all have these little stick-figure family stickers on the back, which, I assume is supposed to be a cutsie little kindergartner's portrait of the family inside the vehicle. These stickers seemed to have spread like a plague through out the family values type community, much like those awfully annoying "Baby On Board" signs that infected millions of car windows during the Reagan years. The plague hasn't seemed to stretch to the mid-west as of yet, but I'm sure sooner or later it will catch on...

I guess I shouldn't think anything of these..except that to me, anyway, they seem to put forth the idea that our only purpose in life is to breed more children into the world. In fact, the more bambi-nos you can pop out, the more stickers you can score for the back of your SUV.... kind of like how football players get a star on their helmet for a scoring play, or WWII airplanes had Japanese flags painted on the side for every enemy pilot they put into the drink.

Then I got to wondering... how would the family values community react to seeing a sticker like this?

In short, I have nothing against families or stick-figure stickers, but when I was growing up a rascally youth in rural Florida, when I wanted to prove how big my dick was, I simply pulled it out. Go figure.

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