Yo, Gipper, where's your Touchdown Jesus now?

THE Ohio State Buckeyes opened up their can of hot n' spicy Tostidos Dip whoop-ass on Charley Weis and the Irish last night. Guess they weren't that lucky after all. The broadcast kept focusing on Irish Quarterback Brady Quinn's sister (who wore a half ND/half OSU jersey to the game). It seems Ms. Quinn is dating OSU linebacker A.J. Hawk. I thought it ironic that Hawk spent the game hitting Quinn and would probably be hitting Quinn's sister after the game. Insult to injury, anyone?

Meanwhile, in Columbus...

Maurice "I coulda been a contenda" Clarett turned himself in to local police on an aggrevated robbery charge. Bail has been set at $50,000.

One would think that once you hit rock bottom you would stop digging. One would think. Meet Maurice:

2002- Ran 1200+ yards his freshman year, even while missing four games due to injury. Destroyed Miami in the National Championship

2003- Forced to sit out a year due to academic and off field stupidity. Unsuccesfully petitions NFL to alter draft rules

2004 - Drops out of OSU. Still cannot get NFL draft provisions overturned. Falsely accuses school of NCAA violations. Whines, cries, gets more than his fair 15 minutes of press. Reportedly working as a fry cook at Denny's. (Ok, I don't know if that's factual or not)

2005- Ages into NFL elegibiltiy. Drafted in the early rounds to Denver. Cut from team prior to end of preseason. Supposedly considers going to NFL Europe.

2006- Starts New Year off with a bang by robbing someone outside a bar for their Nokia. Identified by bar owner who knows Maurice personally.

Good going there, Maurice.

Comments

  1. Anonymous2:40 PM, January 03, 2006

    Oh yeah?! Well the Longhorns are going to gore the Trojans in the Rose Bowl. Going to make Pamplona look like a kiddie picnic. :-) (Can you guess where I went to school? Three guesses and only the first one counts.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Neil Shakespeare5:53 PM, January 03, 2006

    I know the Pope was extremely disappointed.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Drew Dallons9:41 AM, January 04, 2006

    I have to say I'm going for the Horns in the Rose Bowl... hate hate hate USC. I can respect the Horns after seeing them come from behind to beat OSU in the Horseshoe. I have to admit, though, at this point in the season, OSU could take on either USC or the Horns and probably win, even against talent like Bush and Young. They've come that far since the beginning of the year. Oh well... too little too late. There's always next year. Go Bucks!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker8:54 PM, January 04, 2006

    Despite being Irish AND Catholic, I have always had nothing but deep, patriotic hatred for all things Notre Dame. I think it began with Lou Holtz, who I am fairly certain bears the Mark of the Beast.

    That said, we freedom-loving Gators have seen our enemies driven before us, and have heard the lamentations of their women. Consider...

    My alma mater downed the Tom Harkin-loving liberals of Iowa...

    Satan-worshipping Florida State was felled in heart-warming fashion by Penn State...

    Women-raping Miami was humiliated by the good folks at LSU...

    The animal husbandrists (the old-fashioned way) were humbled by West Virginia...

    And the Cheney-bashing Volunteers of Tennessee were watching it all at home.

    Truly, it is great to be a Florida Gator, and to see your enemies smited!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous2:16 AM, January 05, 2006

    That said, we freedom-loving Gators have seen our enemies driven before us, and have heard the lamentations of their women. Consider...

    Gators? Phooey! After what just happened in LaLa-Land, all must now bow before the resplendent Longhorns.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Drew Dallons9:14 AM, January 05, 2006

    Rex, you may not have noticed in my profile, but I have dual citifanship between the Bucks and FSU Seminoles!

    *readies flaming spear*

    But, alas, my hatred for all things Blue and Orange pales to my hatred for all things "U".

    ReplyDelete
  7. Drew Dallons9:15 AM, January 05, 2006

    Yeah Kvatch...the Horns... more specifically Vince Young really impressed me last night. That will go down as a gmae for the ages.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Tina6:18 PM, January 05, 2006

    From the article: "To young Trent Kurkcu and other children in attendance, those previous OSU-Notre Dame games were not only before their time, they were completely immaterial. For Trent, as well as his 4-year-old brother, Trevor, the opposition at hand didn’t mean as much as the first chance to root on the Buckeyes.

    "They’ve been sort of following our lead as Ohio State fans," Karen Kurkcu, the boys’ mother, said of herself and her husband, Cengiz. The family lives in Canton, where Cengiz Kurkcu is a president at the Timken Co.

    The Kurkcus watch OSU games on television all the time, cheering the Buckeyes from start to finish.

    "When they lost to Texas, I got mad," Trent said. "I got so mad I threw pillows." .................. so my daddy laid-off 1300 Timken steelworkers to make me feel better... sigh... ain't life grand?"

    ReplyDelete

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